(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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A man walked into a bar. It was very crowded so he decided to leave.

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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