What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down -22

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

this site is an antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -22

25

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops