What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Safe sex MR

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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How do u put an elephant in a refrigerator? -open it up and put it in How do u put a girraffe in a refrigerator? -open it up take out the elephant and put it in All the animals it the world are at a party in Florida. Which one didnt go? -the girraffe, it was in the frige Your trying to cross a river. A sign says alligators everywhere. U have no boat and no bridges. How do u get across? - swim the alligators are at the party in florida

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops