Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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everybody loves raymond

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops