Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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