A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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