I forgot what i was gonna say

Why was the African Americanfemale at an abortion clinic? Because she just killed a child.

Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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