There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Want to hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Well that explains a lot, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops