What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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