The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

KONY 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops