Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +24

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

honest politician

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops