Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Y u do dis?

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interupting doc- You have aids.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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