Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

thumb_up thumb_down -29

my wife came out of the kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What does one man with alzheimer's say to the other man with alzheimer's. A: Purple, because magic doesn't go through chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

thumb_up thumb_down -33

i wonder when lachlan will come out of the closet and give keiran a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Add William Wright On Facebook Answer- www.facebook.com/public/William-Wright

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

...............................................................hi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops