What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats white jizz

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so fat she's overweight

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops