One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

What is the meaning of life? 42

Your text.

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...