Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops