A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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The jets are a good team..

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

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Poop.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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