what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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Dear 6, Please stop spreading rumors about me. I heard you do some pretty nasty things with 9. Sincerely, 7

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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