How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops