how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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Winter

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

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Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops