Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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whats red and falls from a tree an apple

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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