What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops