Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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Carrot fingers

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3.14159365358979323846264

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The government

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Derp

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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Mullets

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops