What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +14

yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops