why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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I killed someone today. :D

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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nipple

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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Black people

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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