So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

whats purple and brown lucozade sport

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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