What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your dads dead. lol

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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non poop

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

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I'm Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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