Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats white and looks like a bunny? a rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down +36

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops