A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Help I'm being raped!

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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Tunechi

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Women's Rights.

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Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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