the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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