A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

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There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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