knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

Penis

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

what do you call an arse bandit? lady gaga's tanning salon attendants 3rd cousins dog chauffeur, roberto

Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin