How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call this? A sentence in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

My name is Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

thumb_up thumb_down -18

-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

black people are white when i use night gogles

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops