Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops