The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

My wife made me a sandwich

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

im a dragon, no im not

what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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