What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

once you go black your credit goes wack

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

do you no what im doing? writing this joke.

Velcro. What a rip off.

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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