So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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This is an anti joke

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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