a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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what is blue purple and has wings what i dont know that why i am asking you

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops