Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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nipple

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Whats more painful than falling onto a sharp stone? Suffering the loss of your mother and newborn brother in a tragic car accident on your birthday.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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