So, how 'bout that airline food?

An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

Religionh

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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