what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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Your existance.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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