Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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j

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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So how does the chicken cross the road? He doesn't, chickens live on farms.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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