Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

thumb_up thumb_down +16

canadians

thumb_up thumb_down +16

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down +16

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats red, brown and blown up? a hampster in a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between Justin bieber and a dick... The dick

thumb_up thumb_down +14

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Terry has ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops