What's the difference between a duck?

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A Pakistani news reader.

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Do you want icecream, Björn?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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