Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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