"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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How do you make a basketball team short You cut off their legs

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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