Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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why was the man sad? his wife died

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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