A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Doctor: Yes. Patient: I think I'm a moth! Doctor: You don't need a doctor, you need Mental help. Patient: Yes I know. Doctor: Then why are you here? Patient: The light was on.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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