- Anti Joke

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

Obama getting elected in 2012.

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

Please? No.

Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!