What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Apple juice.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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