Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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Poop

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops