- Anti Joke

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

Derp

Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

What is duke oxtoby? legend.

What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

He walked in a bar

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

69

knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

In soviet russia, 6 is not afraid of 7

Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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