Penis-biter

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

roses are red violets are too im bleeding

The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

Penis

The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

kieran scott peels his off his foreskin while he watches hentai porn then he eats it afterwards, he is also on roids

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.