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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

On the dora show when they asked where the Monster was why did the arrow point left instead of right?? Because it was scared

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

What's worse than bad words? People who say them

The NBA and womens sports

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."