what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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whats your budget like? a budget.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Womens rights

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Women's Rights.

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops